SWAY

I recently read a book entitled, ‘SWAY - THE IRRESISTIBLE PULL OF IRRATIONAL BEHAVIOR’, and it lived up to its title as it told story after story of senseless behavior and why it takes place. I found the stories and research very compelling. Why pilots with perfect records would make obvious and fatal mistakes, or how students’ opinions could drastically be swayed by a single word. The studies were astonishing and very illuminating.
Here’s an abbreviated example from the chapter, ‘Compensation and Cocaine’:
At the University of Zurich, research was done as to how the people in a local town in Switzerland would respond to having radioactive waste stored near their community. The people were informed that the federal parliament had selected their town as one of the best places to store these contaminants. When they took a vote at a town hall meeting, 50.8 percent felt a national responsibility to accept the facility, the other half of the group opposed to having the waste stored nearby. This other half represented a significant problem, so the government tried to win over some of the townspeople by compensating them with money ($6,500. a year per family), but when money was introduced into the proposal the percentage dropped from 50.8 in favor to 24.6 in favor! How could offering people more produce less?
The book goes into detail as to why this happens and illustrates how our brains process things. Basically, it’s as if we have two “engines” running in our brains that can’t operate simultaneously and that run on separate fuels. When one is engaged, (the pursuit of money for example) it closes the door to the other (national pride, love, and loyalty) and vice versa. It brought to mind Jesus’ words: You can’t serve God and money, that you will hate one and love the other. The studies also showed how we respond the same way with other things besides money; like drugs, gambling, and sex. I was reminded of the many people I’ve known who said they loved their family, only to destroy what they love by engaging in these very activities. And when asked why they would do such things, can give no sensible answer for their behavior.
Anyway, it’s a short read (fewer than 200 pages) and story after story kept me intrigued.

God Bless the Ninja

Years ago when I was starting out in youth ministry, I received a call from one of my high school students saying he wanted to meet with me because he had just run away from home. I remember hanging up the phone (before cell phones) and excitedly thinking, “This is it! This is youth ministry!” On my way down to meet with Mark, I nervously rehearsed in my mind all the scenarios I could think of, as well as what I might say and asked God to give me some divine answer that could help rescue this young man.

I found Mark there in the 7/11 parking lot and began talking to him. I asked him some of the questions I’d been rehearsing in my mind earlier. “Why did you run away? Where are you going to live?” He told me that he wasn’t getting along with his parents and felt they were being unreasonable (common stuff I thought), and then he dropped the bomb. He said that he planned to go to Japan so he could become a “Ninja”, that’s right, a Ninja! I thought to myself again, yet differently: “This is it? This is youth ministry?”

As I stood dumbfounded with my mouth open like a Venus Flytrap, I wondered, “What am I supposed to say to this?” Part of me was angry and thinking, ‘I drove here for this?’ Another part of me wanted to laugh and say, “You go, young grasshopper.” But I really did want to help and eventually swayed him to go back home and to school (not Ninja school).

Since then I’ve found myself fondly remembering, and even longing for, that innocent yet naïve conversation, but unfortunately things don’t always go that way. Instead there have been the conversations in a psych ward with a 15 year old girl who had a complete emotional, nervous, and psychological break down; with a 17 year old young man living on the streets addicted to drugs and alcohol; with a 16 year old girl, pregnant, scared and alone; with those who have contemplated suicide, attempted suicide, and with the families of those who have committed suicide.

I don’t remember the exact words I shared with Mark, but I do remember the sentiment. It was that God understands right where you are, your frustrations and fears as well as your passions and dreams. Pour your heart out to Him, for He understands, cares and will guide you through this.

I really am thankful for my talk with Mark and for the lesson learned that has served me well over the years.

Filling in the Blanks

The other night a friend and I visited a small artistic community out in L.A. I have wanted to go out there ever since I read a book “Untamed”, written by Alan and Deb Hirsch, who are part of this community. Of course it figures that the night we went, they were doing things differently than usual (that always happens when I go someplace new), but in spite of that I was still able to get a good picture of what they are about. Even though the evening was unlike anything I’ve attended before, I had a great time and found the people engaging, unique, and disarmingly real.

I know my opinion going there was swayed (in a positive way) because of how much I liked the book, and that got me thinking about how big a role our prejudices play when we encounter something new.

We have a habit of making quick assessments based on the little we hear, see, or know. This happened to Jesus when the religious leaders saw the prostitute crying at his feet, or him eating with “sinners”. What they saw only affirmed what they already believed about him. And what they believed was wrong.

This happens to us as well. Some after reading about this group I mentioned visiting may assume because I used the words artistic and unique that they are unorthodox in their beliefs. Others are reading this and wondering, “When did you even talk about their beliefs?” I didn’t. Some of you thought fondly of them simply because I used the words artistic and real. But WE ALL key on things or words that have certain meanings to us and file the rest under the labels we make.

The problem with labeling people is that it prevents you from seeing what's clearly before your face; all you're seeing now is the label and instead of allowing the truth to fill in the details, you fill in the blanks with what you already believe, even if what you believe is wrong.